And just like that, it's Saturday - my favorite day of the week, because I can do whatever I want without worrying about tomorrow. Staring at the sky and clouds, messing around, drinking beer and liquor, then collapsing until Sunday without stressing about the alarm clock screaming inside a tiny 20-square-meter room where three guys have to squeeze in to sleep.

About this past week: things at the company started showing bad signs. On the surface, everything still looks normal, but since it's a startup, all revenue depends on investors backing the company's ideas and products. I might skip the whole idea story for now - not because it's great. It's still bad. Just not as bad as the way I have to work to build that idea.

In this era where AI is worshipped like a god that can do everything (at least if you believe the media), if AI were a religion, my bosses would be high priests. The entire process is 100% AI-driven - ideation, design drafts from those ideas, even market research, all AI. How do I know? Because I already know AI writing too well, and the documents thrown at me look like trash bins full of AI output dumped by my bosses. I use AI a lot too, and I know it can produce detailed and logical material. But my bosses don't even know what they actually want, so AI can't truly help them. They let AI create ideas and plans, then only listen to quick summaries instead of reading those thousand-line documents about some "world-changing app." It's ridiculous. I can feel they know that too, but maybe they think I can use another AI to understand the first AI's output and magically give birth to a perfect product.

Then comes me - the guy at the bottom of the food chain, a low-level developer who has to execute whatever the bosses say. If I complain, I get one sentence shoved back at me: "Use AI more." I have never been against using AI, but using it nonstop while still needing time to verify results is exhausting. Worst part: everything moves too fast, so people have to build before understanding the system. Now code changes are basically AI's game, and none of us truly understand this codebase anymore. Add to that a pile of vague documents with concepts nobody has ever heard of, and guess what happens when I ask about those concepts? I get told to figure it out myself: fake it till you make it. So one whole week passed, and my feature didn't move forward even a little. I can only watch each day pass with fatigue and frustration, because even I don't know what to do inside this chaos. The deadline hasn't arrived yet, but only two weeks are left before everything collapses. Wait for the next chapter about time, and about how my company may collapse under this ineffective AI obsession. From that, maybe I'll get one lesson for myself - or two, or three - probably lessons I'd never get in a big company.

Last week was also rough because I was broke. My face is thick enough that when I ordered lunch, I kept saying I'd pay on Friday (payday). Borrowing a little here and there - not huge amounts, but still sad when you have to ask. So when people say money can't buy happiness, that must come from people who've never lived with debt pressure. After getting paid, I cleared all my debts. I think I still have enough left this month after expenses. Hopefully. Besides the debt anxiety, there was another feeling: waiting. Waiting for an email saying I passed round one of an interview. It's been a week with no update. Chances of failure are high, but I still keep a little hope - after all, it's only been one week. The interview went pretty okay. It was only 15 minutes, but maybe it was short because I answered so smoothly, like textbook perfect. The HR interviewer probably had to nod in agreement, right? So I joke that I have plenty of English, but not a single "em" in my 23 years of life.

Lately I don't like talking about love, and honestly I don't want to, because I don't have much experience to speak from. But even a small feeling can shake my heart hard. Maybe I'm too emotional, or maybe I wasn't ready for a relationship. I lean toward the first reason - everyone has a first time before later stories, right? There are still things I don't know how to solve, but overall it's okay now. I don't keep thinking about that person anymore. Looking back, I think I did my best - maybe not "the best," but the best I could do at that time. I still learned a few things: how to start conversations, how to show emotion, how to keep healthy distance while getting to know someone, how to respect people, how to be less clumsy, how to be subtle and thoughtful, how to talk better (even though I still don't say much), how to understand someone (though I still understand very little), how to notice others, how to hold my emotions, and how to keep moving after a relationship. Well, it sounds nice when I say it, but I still don't know how much I'll change in the next relationship. Ah right - starting this blog is actually how I release emotions after that situationship that lasted just a little over a month. Maybe this is a good change. I keep believing that. And I like that I still try to see things positively, hopefully.

About today: I went out with an older colleague from my company. He wanted to buy a camera to shoot photos - first item on his to-do list for this year. Cool. I had nothing to do anyway, and I like going around to clear my head instead of pretending to focus at home (I don't really focus there). Besides watching him buy a DJI Action 6 - pretty small, and honestly not that worth it in my opinion - this was also my first time trying Huynh Hoa banh mi, which I think is overpriced. It tastes okay, but there's too much pate and almost no sauce, so it gets heavy fast. Good thing I shared half with him, because I couldn't finish that whole sandwich in the morning. Then I visited Nguyen Van Binh Book Street for the first time. I'd rate it pretty decent: many bookstores, a good variety of titles and genres, not too long to walk, great for hanging out and checking in for one to two hours. I also bought a book from a genre I never tried before - detective fiction - The Silence of the Lambs. I'll write a review in future posts, stay tuned. Around 11:30, we split up and headed home in different directions. I went to a cafe to write this post so this blog doesn't die when it's only two weeks old, hahahaha.

So now it's 1:50 PM. I wrote this in about one and a half hours. Pretty good. I can sink into words and sentences, and maybe I don't hate sitting down and typing like this. I don't love it too much either, though. Time will tell. Still, I'll try to like it - not forcing it, because I can't be forced, and I don't like being forced. Maybe that's a common Gen Z denominator, and honestly, I think it's kind of good.

I wish everyone a happy weekend. Tonight I'll start going back to the gym after a one-month break. I have too many things to do. But I believe everything will be okay, and will be okay. Bye~?!